Not Sure I Want to Go…

walkI was standing by the pacific ocean looking toward the horizon. As you can tell the light was fading and it was a beautiful sight with the pier in the foreground and not a person in sight. Just Arlean, my beautiful wife and companion for almost forty years, together at one of those moments when you hold hands and take a deep breath savoring God’s creation and blessings.

But then it happened! A thought crossed my mind (don’t you hate it when that happens). I started thinking, maybe I don’t want to go on. Maybe I don’t want to stay on that path going off somewhere into the distance. To keep doing the work of sacrifice, service, meditation, praying, the haggling with committees the preaching and teaching trying to motivate others to get up and move. Maybe now is the time to sit on the side and let someone else keep going. Maybe I’m done with the pushing, maybe it’s okay to enjoy my Savior’s presence without all the shoving a shepherd has to do.

Boy did that feel good! For a moment to get away, to relax, to contemplate quitting. In a brief moment to recognize where you are, what you are doing and what you are not doing. As I stood there the author Frederick Buechner came to mind. He wrote, ” A Christian is one who points at Christ and says, ‘I can’t prove a thing, but there’s something about his eyes and his voice. There’s something about the way he carries his head, his hands, the way he carries his cross-the way he carries me.’”

There is no way we can have any idea where that path is leading. But we do know this…our Savior is there carrying us. We also know this… another brother or sister is there waiting on the path, able to hold our hand to say “Lets go do this thing together.”

I will see you on the path in 2015 and I expect you to hold me up when I stumble just as I will walk with you. Amen. Again I say Amen.

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